Sharing someone else's Death.

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Cherill
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Sharing someone else's Death.

Post by Cherill » Sat Mar 26, 2005 1:43 pm

This is a true story of something that happened to me. It will be published in a national magazine for Fathers day this year. I wrote the story for another forum and a journalist picked up on it and asked me if she could publish it as a tribute to my dad.



SHARING SOMEONE ELSE’S DEATH

The Family Background

I didn’t respect or even particularly like my father when I was a child. I couldn’t understand why he wanted to stop me and my two sisters from doing certain things, when mom always let us! They argued quite a lot over us kids but one thing was clear - mom was boss! Being the youngest of three daughters I always got away with ‘just a little bit more!’
Dad worked all day and mom worked part-time in the day as a secretary and also, either behind a bar or playing the piano in clubs, at night as well. Dad used to accompany mom in the evenings so I was really going ‘off the rails’ as a teenager. Biker, Hells Angel, Groupie, you name it - I did it!
Then at the age of sixteen, I was in a really bad car accident. This was in 1974 and medical procedures then were certainly not what they are now! I spent nearly 12 months in hospital during which time I really thought I hated my poor dad, to the point of not wanting him to even visit me!
In 1978 I got married and still resented my dad, right until I had my son four years later. Suddenly my dad became a different person! Well, at least that’s what I thought at the time! He was cheerful and loving towards my son, often telling me not to be so strict with him! (And he’s the one who used to carry a lightweight chain in his pocket)!

Events Leading to the Incident

My dad retired from work shortly after Stuart (my son) was born in 1982. He then developed Gangrene in his left leg and ended up having half of leg amputated. Dad never accepted a disabled life. He did accept life in a wheelchair though! Mind you, I wouldn’t have wanted to wear the artificial monstrosity of a leg the hospital supplied him with either! It was awful! For some reason, it fell on me to help him with bathing etc. I don’t know why as the middle sister was always his ‘favourite’, but no - it came on me. We holidayed together and had several weekday meals together.
Dad then developed Gall Stones which were horrid! When they ‘played up’ he would writhe about in agony, muttering obscenities under his breath and projectile vomit a black disgusting liquid (a bit like a man possessed!). Most of the time though, he was fine!

The Incident

The day started with dad having a Gall Stone attack! Mom rang and asked me to go down as he was ill. (They lived a ten minute walk away)! I went down, cleaned him up and rang for the doctor, who came and gave him the appropriate injections to ease the pain and stop the vomiting. I left just after lunchtime. My sister went down in the early evening and my (ex) husband and I went back later that evening. Dad looked much better except he was the worse for spending a day in pain! I went home and thought no more about.
My hubby and I went to bed at our usual time - 10.00pm (he worked for a Bakery and started work at 4.30am). I don’t know how long I’d been asleep for (Stuart was nestled in-between us) but I woke up in agony! I had the most terrific pain in chest. I had trouble even catching a breath and my left arm was painfully paralysed. I reached over Stuart and nudged Keith (my ex). In between sobs, I told him I thought I was having a heart attack. He told me not to be so stupid and to go back to sleep! I remember lying there, completely terrified that I was dying in agony, and my biggest thought was ‘what would happen to Stu? Who would look after him?’ As I lay there, crying I simply fell asleep!
The alarm went off at 4.00am as usual.
“I’m alive” I realised and so the morning proceeded as normal, until 8.30am when the phone rang. It was mom.
“I can’t wake your dad up”, she cried.
“I know”, was my reply!
Dad had died of a heart attack in his sleep, and I had died with him! So who says that bonds have to be formed at birth then?

Life after death

Before this occurrence, whenever I looked at a photo of mom and dad, my eyes were drawn to mom first. Now they are drawn to dad instead. Sometimes I think I can smell him, as if he’d just walked past and I get the urge to talk to him at times! I think that sharing his death had a much longer lasting effect on me.
I now ‘feel’ presences of other spirit people although I can’t see them or hear them - I just ‘make a connection’ with some.
Take Elizabeth at Woodchester Mansion for instance. I’ve been there twice now and didn’t feel her the first time but she really gave me nightmares for a few days after the second visit! I know about her and why she’s there but it’s not my job to tell her secret!
I have other little ‘gifts’ too. Nothing drastic of course - but they are growing nicely!
This is a legacy from my dad, who incidentally, was a non-believer! Thanks DAD!

S. C. Penton
In memory of both William Ewart Haynes and Doreen Haynes.

I hope you enjoyed my 'story'. Look out for the article (including pictures).

Ches.
Blessed be!

Cherill.


"sentio aliquos togatos contra me conspirare." J. Ceaser.

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Frank
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Post by Frank » Sat Mar 26, 2005 1:50 pm

Thank you for sharing it, Ches.
It doesn't matter what sort of puppet you are.
What matters is who is pulling your strings.

Browett the obtuse. circa 05

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lawalk
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Post by lawalk » Tue Mar 29, 2005 8:04 pm

Thanks for sharing this Ches, it really touched me.
I fished and I fished, but no fishes did I see, maybe no fishes exist is the sea!

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Navigator
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Post by Navigator » Wed Mar 30, 2005 12:31 am

Hi Chez,

Yes indeed thank you for sharing with us.

Regards,

Stefan :cry:
Believe the impossible it's probably true!

"nonnullus qu lema firtivus neus porcus"

© nostalgia: "Emotion is the sum of all beings say’s © and to help remember this adds, think of it as energy in motion (Emotion)"

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Cherill
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Post by Cherill » Sat May 21, 2005 2:47 pm

For those who may be interested - this article is going to be in The Womans Own magazine on the week of Fathers day, which is the 21st June. I'm not sure if it will be the Tuesday before or the Tuesday after!

I'm dreading it! :oops:

Ches.
Blessed be!

Cherill.


"sentio aliquos togatos contra me conspirare." J. Ceaser.

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